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StefJenny
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Name: Stefanie
Gender: Female
Interests: Dancing, Shopping, Basketball, My Friends, Football Season, Summer, Music, Christmas
Occupation: Student, Daughter, Sister, Fri
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/11/2006
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| Today is a dreary and cloudy day on the mountain with the snow remnants hanging on the ground. It started to snow last night and I was hoping and wishing for a snow day, but alas all we got was a 2 hour delay..which wasnt bad, I guess, I mean I missed my first class so that was nice. But there really is nothing better than a total snow day where I can sit and be mindless for the day =) Nothing real deep to write about, not because it isnt milling around in my brain, but rather I dont want to talk about it or feel like drudging it up is rather pointless since this is mostly just a journal anyway, since no one at all in the world reads this. But I'll write anyway for now, because it is somewhat therapeutic. Classes are starting off alright I suppose for the spring semester, although it's really the winter/spring semester with the winter being the most prominent. I guess mainly I have noticed so far in the last two weeks, how incredibly lonely I feel being here at school. I'm not sure how to change that feeling either..I'm too afraid to put myself out there I suppose. Oh well, that's all I am going to say about that. Until next time, whenever that will be, because I am sure it will be awhile.. Who writes,
Stef | | |
| Well..I have no idea where the time goes..but christmas break is fastly approaching, and I could swear..I was just writing a Christmas entry...I have no idea where this year went. It's fascinating really. Anyways, there are 3 more days of classes, and then two days off to study, and then finals..then home! :) Woot! This christmas break is gonna be the best ever, hands down. Mainly b/c this time I'm not wondering what people are thinking, how things are gonna end up...I already have those answers..and it's a great feeling  In the last year I've grown up in lots of ways..I had to. I have had many important learning experiences, some that hurt, some that didnt seem worth it. I learned that when you try to go back to the past, you find that you cant really change it...I just ended up learning the exact same lesson. At first I thought it was the most pointless thing in the world..like I didnt need to. But then I realize now, that it is exactly what I needed. I needed to know that you cant hide in order to avoid pain, which is exactly what I was trying to do. Go back to something before my life came crashing down, but all I found on my path back was that nothing had changed..there was nothing back there for me. I didnt realize it right away...I guess when you are running, you tend to not realize those things until you run into a brick wall. So I turned myself around and am walking the other direction..treading ground I have treaded before..working through it instead of against it..which is something I've never been good at. But sometimes it helps when you have someone there to hold you as you do it. As I've treaded that ground, I've come back across something that I put away when it wasnt really a dead end...something I killed b/c otherwise I would have spoiled it. Now some of you might be saying how is that any different than the past I shouldnt have drug up? Well..it's probably not..expect that one case was always bad for you, the other one not so much...I just couldnt deal with the good, until I had thrown myself head first into the pain, which first required that I start before the pain. It was like a shortened version of three years of my life, that I did in one year..lol..I've met some interesting people along the way..I guess to throw some newness into the mix..people that have challenged me, and have taught me to be kind, be loving, be Christlike. Other cases, I've been hated, lost some friends, been hurt by a couple too..but that is part of this crazy mixed up life. And now I'm back right where I started..at Christmas going..well..I could say that was a waste of a year, when I didnt really gain any ground but rather ran myself ragged..but I couldnt imagine it being any better for me..for me to realize who I am outside of my experiences..outside of the pain..my past..and now I almost ready to gain new ground instead of fixing old stuff..but until I'm ready...it's just one step at a time..and I can wait  Although I really cant wait for this sickness to pass that I have..it's as annoying as infomercials and cruddy drivers(I have road rage in case you were wondering)...Just a random tidbit for levity..although to me it's anything but levity!  Who Writes,
Stefanie | | |
| This is going to be short. It's been awhile since I've written. Not sure why I am now either. No one reads this which is why I stopped writing. I'm thinking about deleting my xanga..it just seems pretty pointless to have one when you have no one reading it. It's October now..and I've been back in school for over a month now. It's pretty crazy. I feel like I just graduated high school..and now I'm a sophmore in college. It's hard to fathom really. It's for the best though..moving on means leaving things behind..things you have to leave behind...sometimes the person that you were, the things you did..they just have to stay back there..I'm trying to just leave the past where it belongs..sometimes you can carry stuff with you..but a lot of my past I dont want to carry with me..some of it is excellent and sweet..and I love it..others just make me a bitter individual..the bitter person I was my senior of high school..and I pretty much refuse to be THAT girl ever again! Anyways, I'm just saying..that I'm thankful for time passing..it means the crappy stuff isnt at a stand still and we can recover from it.. Well...I got to take a shower and study some more for my ed psych test tomorrow! We'll see if I write again or not! =) You know you love me,
Stefjenny | | |
| Yes..it is true..I have the summer blues..I can feel summer's last breath of air being breathed upon me and I am trying to make it hold its breathe because I am not ready for it to end..I still have soo much I wanna do..I feel like I've just begun to do the things I want to do..I mean I still have time..but I know august 21st will be here waaaaay before I'm ready..but that is generally the way it goes..it is true what they say..you can never have too much of a good thing. I also find the quote that my dad always tells me to be true..(dont you hate that?!?) He always says..when 4th of July comes..Summer's over...And it's true! Really it is.. Anyways..I'll try to put a positive spin on it all.. First of all school means roomie dates..which is great! And secondly, it means well I'm not sure..but I'll let you know. My brother's wedding was a week ago..and it was lovely, stressful, and tearful..=) My first experience as a bridesmaid was pretty fun though I must say =)...Being behind the scenes is far different than I had anticipated..action packed I tell you..they should make a movie about it..or maybe not..I dont know..but I'm telling you..it's a different experience completely..I mean 3 minutes before the ceremony starts..and you are trying to find a way to get the bride to the bathroom in her long train.. it's pretty intense..lol..anyways, Jeff and Kendall are doing great..they are on their honeymoon in Yellowstone National Park..which is a fun place =) So..I guess once again I'm a cookie cutter..I have an mp3 player..my aunt got it for me for my bday..finally I part of the cool kids I suppose..mainly I didnt get it..b/c I thought it would be a hassle..but other than the hour it took me to get it off the greek language setting..it hasnt been too difficult.. *thinking thinking*..I'm trying to think if there is anything else I need to mention before I publish this original piece..hmm..guess not..oh..my last week at Tuesday Morning will be next week..*smiles big*..I told you..I just want to enjoy what's left of my summer =)..okay..well that is all..Try not to be too disappointed.. | | |
| This is going to be extremely short, b/c I'm exhausted this morning..I didnt get to bed til after 2, and I woke up at 9:30..b/c people were stirring in my house, which caused my unfortunate waking up..=(...Feel pity for me just for a second...no?!? well, pssh.. As far as what I've been up to this summer..I've been busy working..which isnt my favorite..but it helps me keep my addiction...aka my car.. lol..she needs some TLC so mommy has to work for her to live..and I need money for my other two addiction: caramel apple cider and music.. So that consumes my life for about 20 hours a week. The other part of my life is my brother's wedding. Katherine's wedding is now over, and it was lovely. And now there are only 2 weeks exactly until my family celebrates my brother's wedding.. It's an odd thing really to realize we are adding someone to the family..As I told my mom the other day, I said, "Mom, you wont be the only Mrs. Prager anymore...whoa..weird." Mom had the sole title for only 3.5 years since my Grandma Mootzer died.. But still, it's a little different..=) I personally though this isnt very nice..I want them to just have a kid..forget needing money..Auntie Stef will take good care of them..lol...But anyways, I am rambling..stupid morningness.. I've also spent a good deal of time with my friends..which is kind of unusual for me. Normally, I'm a hermit during the summer..but I think since I've gone to college and havent seen my high school friends much..I like hanging out with them..I've seen someone almost everyday and that makes me happy. Now if I could just tear mommy away from this wedding business for a day..I would be perfectly happy..hehe..=) I hope everyone elses summer is going splendidly =) I'm going to stop writing now as to avoid any further stupidness from coming out of my mouth..I know, I know..it's truly hard to believe..but occasionally, I slip up and say something off hand..but very rarely =P Soli Deo Gloria,
Stefanie | | |
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